Don't let this memory fade away
by ohhiitsaubrie
Summary: Spencer lost her family when she was five, now eighteen she is off on her own. On the road to find herself she runs into her past. Featuring Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick, Rian Dawson.
1. i said i'd never forget your face

**a/n the boys appear in the next chapter.**

The wood was wet and the wind blew through my black hair and I sat on the back porch of the home, _their home_. I was placed with this foster family two years ago, since then I have been beaten, starved and burned. I had graduated high school and turned eighteen in two weeks, then I could leave this place for good. The sun went down and the breeze grew colder, I was forced to stay outside until told otherwise. I hugged my knees then closed my eyes, remembering life before the living hell.

"_mommy where are you going?" I asked in my squeaky five year old voice. "taking your brother to soccer practice then to the store" she replied giving me a smile. She was young, pretty, and a hardworking single mother, but she always had time to play barbies with me or pirates with my brother. I gave her a cheeky grin and ran off to get my dance bag, it was Thursday so Jack had soccer and I had dance. "Spencer your ride is here!" I ran out to the living room and gave Jack a hug, "good luck at soccer!" "bye sis!" Jack squealed with a goofy smile on his face. "bye mom love you!" I yelled while running to the door. "see you in a few hours." mom called to me from the open door. _

My eyes fluttered open and I wiped the stray tears from my eyes. "its been a few hours mom, please come home" I muttered to myself.

I shuddered again it felt close to ten, she probably forgot about me again...its happened before. I moved to a corner and got as comfortable as possible and closed my eyes again, this time I dream I got out of the hell hole and found my mother and brother who have been looking for me all these years and I was finally safe and happy. It was the same dream every single night.

"Spencer get your ass in here" my eyes shot open and I scrambled into the house. I stared down at the tan carpet when I made it to _her. _Hallie was drunk, like always and decided to punish me for missing my morning assignments because I was outside. I fell to the ground as she gave me one final kick before exiting the kitchen. I caught my breath then stood up to start my afternoon chores, I didn't want to be beat again for not finishing them.

I scurried about the house to pick up items and scrub floors, I finished with an hour to spare so I went up to the attic and began to write. Moments later I heard footsteps pounding against the stairs I slid the notebook under the box spring I slept on and sat there picking at the carpet.

"Spencer, mom wants you downstairs." Layton, their eldest son instructed then turned around and left. Layton was oddly nice to me when _she _wasn't around, which I was grateful for I didn't need double the hate.

I flew down the stairs and into the living room where I saw Hallie sprawled on the couch with a bottle of god knows what in her hand. "ma'am" I muttered with my head hung down, I wasn't allowed to look at her for I was too lousy to look at her beauty.

Beauty, yeah right her frizzy red hair stuck out like Medusa, the bags under her eyes made her look like a raccoon, and she dressed as if she was homeless.

"Go cook dinner." her voice like an invisible whip. I ran to the kitchen and prepared meatloaf. "if it is good enough you might not have to sleep outside again" just as the last word came out thunder rattled the house. Her laugh sounded more like a cackle coming from the wicked witch of the west. I wonder how this bitch even got her foster parent license.

I sat on the cool kitchen floor near the table, I wasn't privileged enough to eat with them, and picked at my dinner. The only reason she no longer banned me from eating all together was because her oldest child, Leeah had moved out and she was the one who cooked.

Now it was up to me and while I prepared meals I could easily steal food so the starving technique wasn't effective.

"Spencer, lucky for you I actually liked this now you don't have to sit outside." Hallie admitted then threw her wine glass at my head, I dodged the glass and it shattered next to my face.

A shard fell down my arm and cut it from my shoulder to the elbow. She stood up, walked over to me then kicked me in the gut "clean this shit up" she cackled then left.

I sat there a moment to process what happened then to examine my bleeding wound. With a sigh I began my clean up process I knew if I didn't I would be in trouble. "thirteen more days" I mumbled to myself, praying I would actually make it that long.


	2. go back to the place we knew before

_I ran to the front door expecting it to be unlocked, but the tight doorknob immediately set something off in my head. Mom was always home before me, especially since my carpool was always twenty minutes late. I pulled out the emergency key and unlocked the door then walked inside. _

_The second I stepped into the house the phone rang, it was as if I stepped on a button. I carefully stood up on my toes and grabbed the phone giving a tiny hello in the receiver. "yes, is there an adult around?" the mans voice on the other end asked. "um no, my mom is out." the man's voice changed from alarm to panic, "is your mothers name Nichelle Andrews?" 'yes." I whispered, I knew something was wrong."well honey there has been an accident...her car was smashed by another car, she was killed instantly." his voice sounded full of sorrow now. _

"_well what about my brother?" I asked, terrified he shared the same fate as my mom. "he..um died too." his voice didn't sound too convincing but I didn't dare question him. _

"_do you have a father?" _

"_no..he left two years ago" I didn't know my dad that well, he was always gone even before he left. "well sweetie, somebody will be over to pick you up and take you to a foster home. Pack things you want and stay at your house." then the line went dead. _

I woke up from my dream and stood up from my bed and ran downstairs to start on my chores, tomorrow was my birthday then I was gone.

"Spencer do you know how to mop a floor?" Hallie screamed the second she saw me. "yes I do." I said, it was the wrong thing to do. She immediately began attacking me, _don't fight back it'll just get worse if you fight back, _I reminded myself over and over again while she started hitting the back of my legs with the broom handle I was once holding to sweep the floor.

"no wonder your father left your sorry ass and your mother killed herself, you're a pathetic excuse for a person, nobody will ever love you." she boomed and she finished beating me.

_No no no, that was not true, my mom loved me and did not kill herself, it was an accident! And if she would have killed herself she wouldn't have dared take jack with her. _Her words really crawled under my skin.

"No!" I screamed and ran up to my room with her closely behind, I grabbed my brown sack I kept my cherished items. She was in the doorway when I came at her full speed and pushed her down the stairs and jumped over her as she toppled down. "you whore!" she screeched I ran for the front door and ran up the street until I heard her yell from _their _house "fine you bitch leave you wont survive anyways!"

I did it, I escaped her grasp and now I was free. Then reality hit me I was alone, with no money, no food, and no shelter. I wandered into the city, with no idea where I was suppose to go I let me feet take me where they wanted to go.

Hours went by and I became tired and hungry but I continued to walk until I spotted a park then dragged myself over to the swings to take a break. I looked at the 'artwork' of past swingers on the pole next to me. I chuckled at some pictures or sayings then I stopped breathing for a moment.

This couldn't be true could it?

I looked towards the bottom of the pole again I saw it, two sloppy names floating above two stick figures, one with a ball next to it's feet the other was in a tutu on her toes. I got down on my knees to examine further, "Spencer and Jack Andrews 8/15/95" I read to myself with a smile. That was carved two months before the accident, when we feared nothing and everything was our playground.

I stood up and walked behind the playground to the soccer field where I attended so many games to cheer on my brother. I hadn't been to the town of Lutherville in thirteen years, I still was in shock I had walked this far. Images of him danced behind my closed eyelids.

"Whatcha looking at?" a voice asked that caused me to jump three feet into the air. "the field" I answered rather embarrassed by my response. I turned around to look at the mystery man and I couldn't believe it. This boy looked just like my brother except thirteen years older. He had the same big dark chocolate eyes, large nose, dark hair, and lanky body. It was if my dream was becoming reality and he never left me in the first place.

"Jack?" I whispered still in awe of this...angel. He rolled his eyes slightly "what do you want signed?" he asked putting on a clearly fake smile.

Signed?

Was this boy some sort of celebrity?

"nothing?" I said in more of a question then a statement. "then do you want a picture? A phone call? Anything?" he asked amazed by my lack of attention he expected. I simply shook my head no which obviously boggled his mind, "wow..you're the first fan Ive met who hasn't asked for anything!" he emphasized anything.

"fan?" I was getting more confused by the second.

His cheeks turned red and the look on his face was similar to a child's who had just gotten a answer wrong in front of the entire class. "sorry..you just knew my name and I assumed you knew about my band" he was now looking down at the grass we were standing on.

Then I realized his name was Jack... could he actually be my brother? "have you ever met a girl named Spencer?" I asked, assuming he wouldn't recognize me since I was twenty pounds underweight, had scratches and bruises covering my body and I wasn't five.

He thought about it for a moment then mumbled my name a few times as if he might have known someone by the name but couldn't place where. "no I don't believe I have." he admitted. "well whats your last name?" I quizzed again hoping he would give me the answer I was looking for. "Barakat" he stated. I felt defeated, this boy was in fact not my brother.

"oh" I whispered looking off in the distance, I could feel the tears threating to spill and the gathered at the brim of my eyes. "I'm sorry..." his voice was full of sorrow, I felt his large hand place itself on my back. I had a feeling he knew my story with the way he looked at me. I gave him a weak smile, brushed his hand off and began walking back towards the playground.

"Spencer" he called out and jogged towards me. I sighed and came to a halt to wait for him. "I know you barely know me but you look tired and famished, why don't you come over to my house for a little bit?" I would have objected, I didn't want to be around this boy who reminded me so much of my beloved brother but I was starving. I gave him a nod and began following him down the familiar streets.

We arrived at a house that looked similar to others on other roads. We walked in and Jack introduced me to his mother. She looked as if she knew me then brushed it off and acted like she has never seen me before. We flew down a flight of stairs into the basement.

Then I saw _him_, Alexander William Gaskarth.

He and my brother had been the best of friends, he was even on Jack's soccer team. I gasped at the sight of the old friend, my noise caused him to glance in my direction. He took a double take then his eyes popped out of their socket.

He walked over to me cautiously as if I were a mirage. "Alex, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is Alex." Jack introduced then left them room. The simple name sent shivers down my spine.

"Spencer..." Alex whispered then reached out to touch my to make sure I was real. I stood there dumbfounded, all I could do was nod. "does...does Jack know who you are?" he asked with amazement in his voice. I cocked my head to the side as if I were a confused puppy. "that isn't my brother." I replied coldly. "Spencer...he is"


	3. i'm sure i'll get the picture

"What?" as all I could manage to choke out.

"Jack Bassam Barakat is actually Jack Harlen Andrews." the look on my face caused him to further explain. "when they were in that crash it killed your mother instantly but jack survived." he started, the mention of the accident caused my heart to sting.

"Well Jack had hit his head and it effected some part of his brain where he couldn't remember anything before the accident, just his name. So they brought him to the hospital and found your home number in his bag or something and called when they found out nobody was able to take care of you two they put you in separate homes. Well the Barakat's adopted Jack and it was a fresh start because he didn't remember anything. And well my mom is friends with Mrs. Barakat so she told me everything about Jack and his condition, and for thirteen years I had to pretend he was never an Andrews and always lived in this house." he finished then pointed to the floor to indicate the house.

I stood there in shock for a moment, I wasn't wrong, this Jack was really my brother.

Tears welled up in my eyes then spilled, then an important question came to mind. "how come they didn't adopt me?" this fact broke my heart, I had thought my brother had been dead for thirteen years but he really lived a few streets over from our original home.

"Well they would have but you weren't in the same home as Jack and they couldn't find you....I asked the same question when I was eight" he informed then gave me a smile. A few more tears traveled the distance of my face and I ran into Alex's arms. He felt warm and I instantly felt safe.

"I see you guys made friends fast." Jack joked as he entered the room. I turned to look at this boy, my brother. The expression on my face was like that of a mother seeing her newborn baby for the first time. He glanced around nervously then offered to get the pizza.

"Spencer, he doesn't remember a thing so you have to pretend you don't know him." I agreed and sat down on the couch to await the freshly baked food.

"So, Spencer where are you from?" Jack asked, strangely curious about my past. "here actually" I stated, I wasn't about to tell them about my journey through countless foster homes.

"No shit? Where?"

"1756 Thames street." I stated as if I still lived there, I glanced over to Alex who wore a sympathetic look.

Jack's face twisted up as if he were thinking, as if he remembered the house. He then brushed it off, obviously frustrated he couldn't place the hazy memory. Alex sighed to himself like this happened quite often.

We talked about countless things until I glanced over at the blue clock hanging on the wall that read seven thirty, I still didn't have a place to sleep and I needed to find one before it got dark.

"I uh have to get going." I stated then stood up.

I shuffled over to Alex who was only three steps away, "nice to meet you Alex." a sly grin formed on my face at my last statement.

"Nice to meet you too Jack." _Nice to meet the new you Jack, I'm Spencer your little sister. Its okay you don't remember me I was only around for five years anyways. _I thought to myself as I glided up the stairs and out the door.

I wandered past dozens of streets in hopes of finding a warm place to sleep. I looked up at noticed the little brown sign that read "South Broadway Park" I had made it back to the same damn park.

I glanced around in hopes of something that had a cover. With a sigh I climbed onto the connecting tubes in the play ground. It wasn't the most appealing way to spend my night, I need to find friends I can stay with.

I looked up at the yellow plastic and thought about how my day played out. I ran away from hell on earth, I saw Alex Gaskarth again, and I found out my brother isn't dead but doesn't remember me in the slightest bit.


	4. twist and turn in my sleep

**Jacks pov**

"Well that was pleasant." Alex mumbled while playing with the zipper on his hoodie. Something had been bothering me since I saw Spencer, she looked so familiar.

"Hey Alex....did Spencer look familiar to you?" I was hoping I wasn't crazy.

"Uh...no" he looked nervous as if he were hiding something, but what? If Alex knew who Spencer was he wouldn't keep it from me. Would he?

"Hey Jack-o I think I'm gonna head home." Alex said, threw me a peace sign then walked upstairs.

I thought about every detail about her hoping to find a few clues. She somehow knew my name without knowing about my band, she has the same chocolate eyes as me, she claimed she lives on Thames street... why does that address stick out? I never lived there I've bee in this house my entire life, right?

I sighed in defeat and retired to my room to sleep on it.

"_Bye sis" I squealed and ruffled her silky black hair around. She never was too good at brushing it herself._

_I climbed into the car, already bouncing around for practice. I loved going to soccer, I was allowed to get dirty with all my friends._

_Mom climbed into the car and off we went. I was rambling on how I was going to be goalie today and I was extremely good at blocking balls._

"_Jack, calm down sweetie." she laughed, her laugh was golden and it could get anybody to smile. I kept quiet for another few minutes but I still couldn't sit still._

"_Oh my god!" she shrieked._

_I spun my head towards the driver's window, there was a big truck speeding towards us. I felt and heard a smash, then it got hot and all I could see was flames. I heard noises in the distance and people screaming then everything went black. _

My eyes flew open and I was breathing heavy.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled to myself. I had never had this dream before where was it coming from? I wiped the cold sweat forming on my fore head off with my right hand.

I glanced at the giant burn mark sitting on my forearm, mom told me it was from a curling iron when I was three. I don't remember dropping the hair tool on my arm though, and the flames in my dream... the marking stung a little thinking about the dream.

What was happening to me?

I don't have a sister, I never played soccer, and I surely wasn't ever in a car accident. I would remember all three of those if they occurred. You can't just forget things that important!

Could you?

I put my arm back down and threw my head against the soft pillow. Maybe I was just stressing about something and this was my body's way of acting. Yeah that's it. I squeezed my eyes shut hoping for a normal dream.

"_Spencer give it baacckkk!" I whined running after my speedy sister. I finally caught up and tackled her into the soft grass. _

"_I will be taking that thank you very much." I stated matter of factly and took the toy from her hands._

"_Jack! Hes mine and you didn't ask to play with him!" she glared, she always thought she was so tough._

"_Well then, Spencer Andrews can I please borrow your bear so he can be my prisoner?" I batted my eyes and she giggled her curls bouncing around. _

"_Yes, you may borrow Freddy." then she skipped off to help mom bake cookies. Freddy the Teddy, my sister was very original._

_I ran back into my room to put her toy into my prison._

"_Jack Harlen! Get in here and eat some of these cookies!" my mother yelled, I could hear the smile in her voice. I ran into the kitchen with my toy handcuffs dangling from my belt loop._

"_What mom demands their kids to eat cookies?" I quizzed now with a mouthful of chocolate chips._

"_The kind of mother who doesn't want to gain ten pounds from being selfish" her smile was just as pretty as her laugh. I could defiantly see her being the 'hot mom' when I got older._

_She picked me and my little sister up in her arms,"I love you Jack Harlen and Spencer Noelle Andrews" _

I woke up one more time with more questions swimming in my pool of confused.

Who was this beautiful woman? She wasn't my mother, my mom was sleeping on the level above me.

Who was Jack Harlen Andrews? Surely not me, I was Jack Bassam Barakat!

Most importantly who the hell was Spencer and why was I dreaming of her? I hoped she would show up tomorrow for band practice, I needed to know who she was.

I paced around my room for an hour before Rian and Kara showed up. I was thankful too, I needed a good distraction before I had a mental breakdown.

"Hey bro" Rian greeted followed by a high five.

"Hi Jack-o" Kara said giving me a hug. I sat my ass down on the couch to prevent me from pacing any longer.

"What's wrong with you Jack? You aren't very chipper" note to self: blind Kara so she couldn't notice everything. "Psh whatever girlie im fine!" I said in my lisp then gave her my signature goofy grin. She rolled her eyes, not believing me but dropping the subject.

The doorbell ran again and I ran to get it. "Zachary!" I squealed trying to act similar to my child-like self. He gave me a chuckle and a head nod then went to find the other two.

We started playing video games waiting for Alexander the Diva to arrive. I was able to relocate the anxiety I felt throughout my body into my fingers. I pushed down on the controller buttons harder and faster then necessary.

I heard footsteps from the front room and just assumed it was Alex but then I heard slight whispers and I began looking at the stairway hoping god loved me today. Sure enough my wishing was effective, the brown eyed beauty hopped towards us behind Alex.

"Spencer! I squealed and ran to give her a hug. I felt her slightly flinch in my arms but I didn't worry about it. Alex introduced Spencer to the other three, "is that your new pick Alex?" Kara asked then giggled. His eyes darted around the room before answering, "not exactly...more like an old friend."

He lied to me? Why the fuck would he lie to me about knowing her? He could answer why im dreaming about her!

"You knew Spencer and you didn't tell me!?!?" I boomed. It came out more like I was pissed then I was excited. I needed answers and fast.

I grabbed Alex by the arm and forced him into my bedroom. "Alex why the shit did you lie and say you didn't know her?"

"Well because it's.." I could tell he was searching for the correct word. "complicated" he finally produced.

"And I would love to know how it's so "complicated" I said, using air quotes around his word.

He sighed and looked down to the ground. "you knew her too..." he mumbled.

"Alex...no I don't. But I am dreaming of her and some other woman." I admitted.

His head shot up and his eyes grew huge. "how old is she in your dreams?"

"Four or five" when I said it out loud it sounded like I was a pedophile.

"What did this other woman look like?" I could see him almost shaking from curiosity.

"Tall, long wavy brown hair, dark green eyes, her laugh was equal to what gold would be like if it were a sound, and she had perfect white teeth" her image was so vivid in my head it was almost scary.

His eyes almost popped out of their sockets and his jaw dropped.

"Who the hell is she?!" I asked bouncing around. "Her name was Nichelle Andrews" he replied then sadness filled his eyes.

"Alex who is Jack Harlen?" I whispered afraid of the answer.

"you wouldn't believe me if I told you." he mumbled.

"try me" I was dying to know, "Jack...it is or um was you" he said. I tried to laugh and pull a "good one" but the serious look on his face caused me to stay silent.

No! I was a Barakat not an Andrews! "stop lying" I yelled and opened the door to go back to every one else. I picked up my guitar and bitterly began to play

This was all a dream and I would wake up soon enough and there would be no Spencer and no crazy talk from my best friend.

"That was great!" Spencer was obviously impressed. But what did I care? She was the reason my brain wasn't working right.

I shrugged and went outside, I could feel the stares drilling into my back. Hazy memories filled my mind of a little girl and a beautiful mother.

God, somebody check me into the crazy home.


	5. this silence isn't easy

**Spencer's pov**

"Meet me on Thames street, I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time." I heard a voice sing about twenty feet away from me. It was the most beautiful voice I had heard in a very long time.

I poked my head out to see who was the owner to such a voice, when I identified the face I gasped. He jumped and turned around.

"You need to stop doing that every time you see me." he smiled, I remember that crooked smile.

"Well Alex you need to stop being places I don't expect." I gave him my goofy grin.

"You and Jack have the same smile..." he stated then stared off. "since when do you sing?" I asked avoiding talking about mister memory loss. "Since like ninth grade, since when do you hang out in playgrounds? Are you interested in little kids now?"

"Damn you found me out!" I groaned then gave him a smile. He laughed then looked off to the field, "why exactly are you in the playground at ten in the morning?" he asked again with a rather serious look.

"Because I don't exactly have a home" I mumbled hoping he wouldn't hear me, too bad luck was never with me. "Excuse me?" his face had shock written all over it.

I sighed in defeat,"would you care to hear what I've been doing the past thirteen years?" he nodded eagerly, I climbed out of the plastic house and sat next to him.

"....so now I'm here" I finished then looked down at my feet. He reached out to touch me but I flinched away from habit.

"Spencer...was she really that cruel to you?" he asked referring to the witch, Hallie. I simply took off my jacket and showed him all my scars and bruises that covered the surface of my arms.

"This one is from a curling iron, this is from a broom handle and the latest is this one from a shattered glass she busted next to my face." I informed pointing to each of my wounds, the cut from the glass was still a red color and not skin tone color just yet.

He gave me the most sympathetic look I had seen in a long time. He inched closer to me and slowly put his arms around me so I wouldn't back away.

"I'm sorry..for everything"

"Thanks Alex" my voice muffled by his hoodie. He released me then stood up grabbing my hand so I would follow.

"I have somebody you should meet." he said with a smirk. We ran past dozens of houses until we got to a rather familiar one. I let go of his hand to gape at the little home. "come on!" he demanded pulling me into the house.

"Alex! Its great to see you, and who's your friend?" the older woman said with her beautiful smile never leaving her face.

"Hi mom, this is Spencer" Alex said, the moment he said the two syllables that made up my name her head shot up. She studied me for a moment then her jaw dropped.

"Spencer.." she whispered, her and Alex were too much alike. "Mrs. Gaskarth." I mimicked then gave her my smile.

"Look at you! You're all grown up! How did you get here? Does Jack know? Oh dear Jack." she said all in one breath. I explained the entire story to her, Alex listened with just as much interest as when I told him. "oh my!" she gasped and pulled me into a hug. "well if you need anything let me know" she offered then we said our goodbyes and I was being tugged away by Alex once again.

"Where the hell are you taking me now?" I was getting annoyed by the constant tugging. "you'll see" he said in a sing-song voice. We went over a few more blocks then made it to a little white house,

"It's beautiful"

"Yeah I know now come on!" he stomped his foot as if he were five. I gave in and followed him in. "where are we?" I asked looking around and the well decorated living room. "your new home" he smiled triumphantly "me, Rian, and Kara live here." I nodded then followed him into what I assumed to be his room.

"Here." he said and threw a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a scarf at me.

"Uh thanks" I grumbled looking at the clothes sitting at my feet.

"You can't show up in the same clothes silly!" he explained then I shooed him out so I could change.

"You look hotter in my clothes." he announced when I stepped out. I gave him a wink then we went over to Jack's. The second we walked through the front door I felt butterflies swarm around in the pit of my stomach. "it'll be okay" he whispered, his voice sent shivers down my spine. We walked down the stairs and the lanky boy came into sight.

"Spencer!" he screeched and gave me a hug. I automatically flinched but he didn't seem to notice, or care. "Spencer, this is Rian, Kara and Zack." Alex introduced.

"Is that your new pick" Kara joked. "not exactly...more like an old friend." he replied nervously for some reason.

"You knew Spencer and you didn't tell me?" Jack exploded, his tone sounded as if he were upset but the expression on his face looked at if he were excited. Jack grabbed Alex's hand and lead him into what seemed to be a bedroom. I sat down on the couch next to Kara and started playing with the scarf that was draped around my neck.

"..Spencer?" Zack whispered as he knelt down in front of me. "yes?"

"We thought..." Zack started but Rian quickly finished, "we would um never see you again?" I cocked my head to the side, I had no idea what they were talking about.

"We were on the ninety-five soccer team." Zack explained. I studied his face for a moment and took away the nose piercing and the curly hair, I remembered him from all the games I attended. I looked over at Rian and remembered him also. "so you know about...everything?" I asked. "well not everything but the outline." Rian offered. I gasped, I was good at that lately. Zack pulled me into a hug and we stayed like that for a moment.

"Um would anybody care to explain?" Kara asked, she looked like a tourist in a foreign city. Rian started to whisper the story into Kara's ear. Her looked changed from each line Rian spoke.

"Oh honey" she said and hugged me after Rian had finished. I had just met this girl and she already felt like a best friend. We heard a door slam which caused me to jump, slamming doors usually meant an angry foster mother. Instead of Hallie, Jack stormed out and picked up his guitar which caused the other three to quickly follow. They played a few songs, by the end of it I was rather impressed.

"That was great!" I complimented. He shrugged and left, we heard a screen door slide shut so we assumed he went outside.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" we all asked in unison. "period" Alex joked then pulled me aside.

"He had a dream about the accident last night" Alex whispered in my ear. "w-what" I stuttered, I thought he couldn't remember a thing! "he dreamt of you and Nichelle, he wanted to know who you were and why he was dreaming of you then I tried to tell him but he didn't believe me." he said, some of his words running together. "wow" was all I could say.

"Should..should I talk to him?" I asked then looked down at my feet. He thought about it for a moment then nodded. I walked over to the glass door and walked outside.

"What do you want?" he sneered.

"Well mister grumpy I just wanted my stick out of your ass." he chuckled and a small smile appeared.

"I'm dreaming about you.." he muttered then picked at the fabric of his jeans.

"Really already? We just met yesterday. I have to say I'm flattered Mister Barakat." I was desperately trying to make this situation light.

"I'm not so sure we met just yesterday" he said looking up at me. "Spencer...why do we have the same eyes? The same dark hair? And why the hell does the girl in my dreams have the same name as you?" I sighed and thought maybe we could take a stroll down memory lane.

"Jack, let's go for a walk."


	6. don't treat this like a secret

**Jack's pov**

I stood up and walked by Spencer, following her lead. I was praying to god she would sanely answer my burning questions, unlike Alex who told me I am somebody I'm not.

We walked past an elementary school, which was deserted seeing it was summer. By the park where me and Spencer had met, and past what seemed to be an old ice cream parlor. Each place she would stop for a moment, tears would slightly well up in her big brown eyes but they would never fall, then she would look at me with hopeful eyes then hang her head when I looked back blankly. I did not understand what the fuck she was doing.

We walked a few more streets over and I noticed a street sign that read "Thames st"

"What the hell are we doing?" I whined stopping a moment to make a scene. I was tired and could smell the plan she was cooking up from five feet away.

"We're just walking, calm yourself.." she insisted and tugged on my arm.

_Just like she did when she was five._

No. this Spencer was not the same girl in my dreams, she couldn't be. No matter how much my brain told me she was my heart refused refused to believe it.

She stopped for a moment causing me to run into her little frame. "Spencer!" I yelped then turned my head to the right to see what she was looking at. A house?

"1756 Thames street" she mumbled over and over again. She looked at me with sorrow, pleading, then pity all washing through her eyes. we lingered for a moment longer. This house looked all to familiar.

The green grass where dirty soccer balls were kicked around? Of course not, I don't play sports.

The living room window where Alex and I would watch each other for hours sending secret messages to each other? Absolutely not! I didn't meet Alex until I was seven, almost eight.

She let out a breath, she looked exhausted. "come on jack-o-lantern." she said and tugged on my arm.

"_Let's go!" she whined tugging on my arm, man this five year old had some muscles. "cracker jack I want to watch Aladdin and you were too busy playing with MY dolls!" she yelled, I could never take her seriously with her high voice. "jack-o-lantern" she said and tugged on my arm more. _

"Oh my god" I mumbled and stumbled backwards. She released her grasp and stared at me hoping I would explain.

"Spencer Noelle Andrews" I said looking straight into her deep brown eyes. Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. The simple nickname I had received after her second Halloween and she first saw the big glowing pumpkin brought back clear memories.

"W-what did you s-say?" she stuttered.

"I..I remember"

How could a nickname I had so many years ago bring back all these memories but everything else didn't? She stood in awe for a moment then slowly pulled me into a hug.

"I missed you" she seemed so vulnerable, it made me sick I had left her alone all these years.

"I missed you too." I answered then became choked up. I had her back, she was safe and with me. I pulled her into the vacant backyard, which had been empty since the accident.

"What exactly happened that day?" Spencer randomly asked while focusing on the emerald blades that covered the ground.

"Well..." I started then searched my new mind for the last memory. "we were in the car and I was talking about how I was going to be goalie that day then she screamed and I saw the truck...then everything became hot and I heard people shrieking then it all went black." I finished then looked at her, she had tears in her eyes. "then I woke up in the hospital and they asked me tons of questions, and I could only answer one. What is your first name? I asked where my mom was, they told me she was on her way." I became saddened by the great knowledge. "then mom, Mrs. Barakat came and told me she was my mother and I had been in a car accident with my friends who were taking me to the park. I came home and believed every story she told me." I finished then glanced down at the mark on my arm.

"I guess I was burned before they took me out of the car, she told me I dropped a curling iron on it." I should have known it was more serious, it looked worse then the pretend accident. The clear tears fell down her pale face as she slid her jacket off.

"I had been with seven foster families in thirteen years. The last family was the worse, she abused me to no end." she pointed out endless scars and bruises and told me the story behind each one.

"I'm so sorry" I said then pulled her into a hug. "for what?" she asked her big eyes looking up at me.

"For leaving you"

She cried into my shoulder for a few minutes before I asked a question. "what happened to our dad?" I couldn't remember a damn thing about the man.

"He left when you were five, he had an affair with another woman. He never was home to begin with, always out on business."

"How the hell did you know this when you were three?" she laughed, the exact same as our mother.

"I figured it out in the past seven years. You figure buried secrets out when you have time on your hands"

"Come on" I demanded then pulled her up. We ran up to the house and crawled through a window I had loosened one day when playing with Alex.

"Shit" I heard her mumble as we crawled through the tiny space. We ended up in the kitchen and stood there for a moment soaking up all the times spent in this room. She walked off as I stood there watching a little Spencer and little Jack run through the kitchen screaming while mom laughed.

"God damn!" I ran towards the screech to see Spencer huddled over a floorboard in what use to be her room.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Look!" she yelled and thrust pictures towards me. I looked down and saw paintings, drawings, and colorings of our family and friends that Spencer had created so many years ago.

"I kept them in the floorboard so nobody would take them, and I'll be damned there still here." she was in total amazement.

"We have to show this to Alex." I chuckled and held up a picture of me and Alex hiding in the grass.

"How can you tell that's you and Alex?" the picture wasn't the most precise.

"Because of his huge fore head and my dashing good looks." I joked, Alex's fore head was dramatically big and I looked like a big blob of marker. We wandered around the house further and reminisced in each room.

"Jack, we should go back and tell the others." she suggested and wandered towards the front door. I followed her outside and saw Mrs. Gaskarth standing in the window across the street, with a mixture of shock and relief covering her face. We made our way back to my house and walked through the front door.

"Spencer! I've been waiting for you, I have been dying to know if he remembers any-oh hi jack" Alex said all in one breath.

"Hello to you too Alex, look what I found!" I squealed then threw the drawing at him. "holy fuck god" he mumbled causing Spencer and I to chuckle.

"That wonderful creation was made by the one and only Spencer Noelle at age four." his head shot up after I finished my sentence and his jaw dropped to his knees.

"You remember?"

"He remembers!"

"I remember."

Alex walked towards me as if I weren't real and gave me a hug. "Welcome back bro."

"It sure feels good to be back, sorry for losing it on you earlier when you tried to tell me."

He laughed, "it doesn't sound very believable anyways." I laughed then pulled away, running downstairs.

"Jack are you done being a bitch?" Zack asked as he looked up.

"Yeah I am, hey we should go play..soccer." I stated then wiggled my eyebrows. Zack looked at me for a moment then it registered. "really?" he whispered. I gave him a simple nod and he did the same as Alex.

"What are you two gay birds doing?" Rian asked when he noticed our reunion. "he's back" I heard a familiar female voice say behind me. Rian's eyes fell out of his skull and he ran towards me. After a little reunion party everyone decided they had to leave, damn them for having a house.

"Bye little sis" I cooed into her delicate ear. It felt just like the last time I said good-bye to her, except this time I wasn't leaving. I wouldn't dare.

"Bye big brother" she retorted with a wide grin on her face and water building up on the rim of her chocolate eyes. she stepped out of the front door and into summer's air.

How could a simple four syllable nickname trigger all these memories? If I had forgotten them for thirteen years why now? How could my best friends drop hints for over a decade and nothing happened, but now this eighteen year old girl walks back into my life and a name she gave me brought it back. How? You could call it a miracle but maybe just maybe it was fate.


End file.
